Just say "No" to anything that keeps you from being creative

Interesting article on the reality of being creative: while there are a very few figures in history that sat down one night and just scribbled out a masterpiece or painted something that created an entire genre of art or transcribed an epic tale straight from their imagination onto the page, there are even fewer who can be said to have sat down the next night and done it again. The rest of us need to sweat and toil, cry and bleed, beg and plead with our muse to inspire us, try and fail and try again and again until we create something we feel is worthwhile, inch by painful inch. It takes work and perseverance, and often the casual observer at a gallery or ticketholder at a concert or a reader of a great novel will never know of nor grasp the full depth of the work it took to produce the art they are now at liberty to enjoy.

I struggle with this myself all the time -- when I get home from the day job, a very vocal part of my psyche wants to sit down and play a game or see what's on TV or make myself a snack -- in short, anything except working on my art, because in a very real way, it is work, regardless of whether I enjoy it. I just got home from working one job, so starting to work on another doesn't seem that appealing.

What I always have to focus myself upon is the satisfaction that comes from creating something new and beautiful, and that it is ultimately more fulfilling than killing a screenful of zombies or watching videos of people's cats. I do this sometimes by stopping to look at the prints I've chosen to hang on my wall, and appreciate the things I did right as well as lessons I learned when I took each shot. Sometimes I take a moment to look up the work of other artists, to see what directions my own work might go, either in relation to or in reaction to what I see other people are doing. Sometimes on my way home from work, I'll stop by the grocery store or local park and take a moment to really look and see what colors or textures I can find that catch my eye, and this can give me ideas of what I could do in other aspects of my art.

So when you're tired or bored and want to inspire yourself to do something creative, how do you do it? What things in your life take away from your creative focus that you must say "No" to?.

A Challenge for All the Beautiful People

A brief departure today from photography and art (don't worry, this will eventually come back to the topic). Yesterday, I was reflecting on some of the aspects of my personality that probably could stand some improvement (trifling things, really *wink*), and realized that there are parts of me that I can choose to change and others that may always be there, like it or not. Likewise, I will never have the body of a seasoned athlete or Bruce Lee, because I have always been on the bigger side and always will be. I've gone on some pretty extreme diets, a couple of them borderline starvation, and as an adult have only gotten close to my supposed "ideal" weight/BMI once, at the end of Navy boot camp where I skipped a lot of meals, and felt like crap for several months afterwards. The doctors have told me for years that based on their little chart, someone my height should be between 140 and 180 pounds, which I haven't weighed since I was about twelve. So I will never be described as "svelte," but I can choose to love the body I'm in and strive to be healthier, rather than thinner or lighter. I can choose to be stronger and more capable, rather than better looking.

There are many things in our lives over which we have no control. We are pulled into this world bloodied and squawling, with no choice or say in the matter. We grow old and eventually die, and nothing we do to try to prevent it will truly stave off the effects of time beyond our allotted tenure. In this life, we will feel pain, both physical and emotional, and that is also inevitable - even if we strive to live in a bubble, an island among men, someone will still find a way to hurt us eventually. Our bodies change, break down, slow down, malfunction, and get sick more often as we get older, because of wear and tear, genetic predispositions, and the effects of the our modern world. These are things we generally cannot change.

There are things we can do something about, as well. We control our diets -- except in a few rare and exceptional cases, no one is cramming those cheeseburgers down our gullets except ourselves. We control our exercise regimens -- even the rich folks who have personal trainers to chase after them and make them exercise ultimately had to hire these people to keep them honest and exercise regularly, and that was the choice, to give that control to someone else. We have a choice of lifestyle -- to smoke or not to smoke? one more drink for the road or let's keep it to a minimum? sex with protection or without? These are all choices we can make that affect our health, longevity, and to one extent or another, our looks as well.

There have always been ascetics among us, who say, "The world is full of horrible things and life is full of pain. It's not worth fighting against it; just give up and accept that we're going to lose our youth, that life is short and violent and will end badly for every one of us." Nihilism has never been my thing, and we will never accomplish anything in life if we just give up and fail to strive for something better, to achieve our goals and become better for the effort. On the flip side of the coin, there is only so much energy one can expend fighting what is truly inevitable -- running every day and eating nothing but bran and Greek yogurt will not prevent you from growing old and dying one day, and the harder you work to prevent the inevitable, the shorter and less fulfilling your life will probably be.

So what is a reasonable person to do about the things we cannot change? Do not fight them, but do not let them define you. Accept them as truths, but not as the entirety of your reality. Many people moan about how they're not as _____ as they used to be, and no matter how hard they try, they can't seem to get back to _______ like they were in high school. These people miss the point -- if you didn't accept the changes that came in your life, move onwards and grow from them, then that point in your history upon which you dwell will truly be the apex of your existence, and everything from that point is a downward slide into oblivion. Rather, if you acknowledge that yes, you were indeed a "10" back in your high school or college years, and accept the truth that you've definitely aged since then, and gravity has indeed taken some toll upon you, then you have the opportunity to view yourself in a new light, as you are now. You may have been a "10" once, but now you're an "11," by virtue of all the things you've learned since then and all the things you've become -- you know what's truly important, now.

So when you look in the mirror in the morning, and see the face of experience looking back at you, don't cry over the loss of your youth -- celebrate your maturity. You're finally ripe now! You EARNED those laugh lines. You have more curves because you've sanded off all the rough edges. You look different because you ARE different: better! There's a REASON the kids are supposed to resepct you! Beauty is indeed more than skin deep, and your beauty is the sum of your entire being, not just the outward-facing shell. When you plan your diet and exercise regimen, therefore, don't just think about how it's going to make your butt look or whether it will give you impressive pecs, but whether it will make you healthier and happier. Do it as much (if not more) because it will help you continue playing the game called life for longer and as a more active participant than because someone says you're supposed to be a certain weight or shape or size. Love the skin you're in, take care of it, and let the critics be damned.

As for your looks, focus on the positive. What do you LOVE about yourself? Learning to appreciate how beautiful you are right now is not about lowering your standards or becoming blind to your imperfections, but rather changing the perspective from which you view yourself. As a photographer (see? told you I'd get back around to it), I can make the hottest woman in the world look frumpy through my choice of lens, exposure, backdrop and camera angle (trust me... I've done it) Learn to love the skin you're in, and you'll find it's much easier to love who's in that skin (wow, had to read that a few times to make sure it made sense... but it does)

I want you to go look at yourself in the mirror, right now. I'll wait right here. Take a really good look, and I want you to say to yourself, "I _AM_ beautiful, dammit. And I _DO_ look good naked." Yes, you too, men -- because beauty is a part of your whole being, you can be beautiful and still be masculine, so shut up and play along. If someone pays you a compliment on your looks from now on, accept it graciously. I don't want to hear anyone say, "Oh, no, I've put on some weight and I've never been happy with my nose or my chin, and my boobs are saggy and and and and," because that person isn't focusing on the positive and hasn't learned to love the skin they're in, and if you argue long enough with people who compliment you, they'll stop complimenting you, which only reinforces your negative view of yourself.

It's hard to do, I know -- we're our own worst critics, and it's easy to get down on yourself for those times you went back for seconds at dinner, or decided to share in the doughnuts at the Monday strategy meeting, or chose to skip the gym one day or another because you just didn't feel like it, and point to those choices as the reason we don't have the body we want. It doesn't feel so bad when you learn to WANT the body you've GOT, and just want to make it better. It actually helps you work toward your diet and exercise goals, ironically enough -- if you love your body, you want to take better care of it, right? and are less likely to feel too bad if you fall off the wagon once or twice. If it helps, ask your family and friends -- what do they appreciate about your body? Your significant other should be able to list some things they like about you -- why are they still attracted to you? (they already know they need to get this question right!) Sometimes, you need an outside observer to point out the things you're doing right, because you get so focused on fixing what you perceive to be wrong about yourself.

That's where I come in. If you want more proof that you are beautiful and deserve to love the skin you're in, give me a call and schedule a session in my studio. I'll show you photographic evidence that you're a lot better looking than you think. My job isn't about making you look better than you really are, it's showing you exactly how good you already look. I like to think that's why the raw, un-Photoshopped images are referred to as "proofs:" they're proof of the beauty that graced my studio on the day of your shoot. Don't believe me? Come in and prove me wrong. I double-dog dare ya!